Waking Up From A Coma

I read a story about a dude who was in a coma and when he woke up the bassist to his favorite band was in the room. Turns out the bassist is a respiratory therapist, neat! Here’s the link to the story if you want to read more about that guy.

This article got me thinking. If I were to ever go into a coma (heaven forbid! Yikes!) what famous person would I want in the room? So let’s have a little thought experiment. This needs a soundtrack. Play this song and let’s get deep into our subconscious!

Let the thinking begin. First off it’s important to remember that a lot of famous people are dicks and generally don’t like normal people like you and I. With that in mind who would be a good person to have in your hospital room while you’re in comatose? Obviously you’d want someone with some form of medical training. Perhaps George Clooney or Neil Patrick Harris? Pro: they seem to know their way around a hospital bed. Con: their sheer beauty would probably outshine my awakening.

Maybe I could be like the guy from the story and wake up to the bassist from my favorite band? Follow up question to that, would Troy Sanders give me some acid while I was sleeping so I could transport myself through telekinesis back in time to hang out with Rasputin (who’s first name is Gregory by the way. Weird first name if you ask me, try harder Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin.) and try and save the Czar’s family from the Bolsheviks? However cool that would be I don’t think my mind would be strong enough to find my way back. Time for a song change.

As my mind falls deeper and deeper into my subconscious and my body literally does nothing I continue to ponder who I would want/be totally stoked to see in the hospital room when I awaken. Perhaps my favorite wrestler Kevin Owens? He’d keep me safe by stunnering anyone trying to pull the plug (eyes on you The Wife) and probably have some mean things to say to any authority figure who swings by. Alas he probably be removed from the local medical facility and be barred from the arena.

So we’ve reached our final destination. My mind fully awake, my body slowly regaining function and it’s my last chance to wake up with a famous person in my hospital room. First my finger twitches, the room arises with anticipation. My head rolls from side to side as I fight to the conscious world. My eyes creak open, powering through the years of eye boogers. As I gaze around the room I see my family. The Wife still trying to sneakily pull the plug, my mom reading a book, my sister talking to the doctor about how I need to be fed more organic nutrients through my IV and my dad taking a nap in the corner. What a sight to behold. Then I look to the door and in he walks. The famous person that I know wouldn’t be a dick and who wouldn’t shine brighter than my awakening. It’s Kevin Murphy! Oh thank the heavens! The man who played Tom Servo! The first thing he does is pull a tv close and we watch the worst movie ever, Transformers Dark of the Moon and we riff it together. Finally I am awake!

Who would you want in your room when you wake up from a coma? Don’t be weird, really think about it.

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Decker

Afternoon dude that loves metal, beer, football and pro wrestling. \m/

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