What are the rules?

I can no longer hear the word “rules” without thinking about that Sunny in Philadelphia episode and that extremely catchy tune…..

Unless you’re talking about the Golden Rule.

But these are the UNWRITTEN rules that everyone should know.

Buzzfeed recently polled a bunch of people online about the unwritten rules and a few of them are definitely on my list.

Such as:

  • Don’t start drama at a funeral or wedding. And do NOT propose at someone else’s wedding. That’s their day. Not yours, dick.
  • If you borrow a buddy’s car, put some gas in it. Obviously, if it’s a full tank, then refill it. If you just borrow your buddy’s truck to move a couch across town, $10 should do.
  • Don’t heat up fish in the office microwave. EVER. Total dick move. You should be fired for such an offense. Nobody wants the stench of your halibut wafting through the hall.
  • Put your cart in the cart return. Stores have installed those damn things to make it even easier for your lazy fat ass.
  • Don’t try to make eye contact with someone in a stall in the bathroom. The fuck is wrong with you?

Also on my list:

  • Don’t clap when a plane lands. Seriously.
  • Unless the theater is completely packed, do NOT sit right next to a stranger. I hate your guts if you do that shit.
  • Be kind to the elderly. Open the door for them. Give up your seat on the bus.
  • Always ask before petting someone else’s dog.
  • Stay to one side of the grocery aisle. Usually the right side. Don’t be a grazer.

Now, there’s plenty of other societal norms that could be classified as “unwritten rules”. But those I’ve listed are definitely on my list.

What unwritten rules make your list?

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Brian Simpson

Unapologetic fan of the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins & Celtics. Lover of powerful, dark beers. Married with NO kids. Ever. Lover of doggos. Not so much cats.

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