Your cat’s butthole.

Our cat gets on everything.

The counter. The window sill. The bathtub. Inside the couch.

He’s a relatively good cat, but the counter surfing is really annoying. Plus, we find tiny bits of his kitty litter all over the place. Even after spending the money on a special litter box with a special pad an whatnot.

And he seems to be less & less interested in cleaning his ass every day.

Dude used to spend hours licking his nether regions, but not anymore….and now, you can’t help but notice tiny crusty bits of poo stuck to his sphincter as he walks by with his tail in the air.

So that tainted thing is probably touching all the surfaces in our house.

A sixth-grader in Tennessee named Kaeden Griffin recently wanted to find out how many parts of his house his cats’ buttholes were touching.

And it wasn’t as many as you’d think.

And just how did he accomplish this feat?

By using a non-toxic lipstick on his cats’ anuses and then keeping track of where that lipstick showed up around the house.

Seems simple enough.

And this was for a school science fair!

Kaeden’s results:

  1. Cats with long & medium hair didn’t make any contact with hard or soft surfaces
  2. Cats with short hair didn’t make contact with any hard surfaces, but there were smears of lipstick on soft surfaces like the bed/couch/etc.

So, maybe it’s not as bad as I thought! Thanks for the assist, Kaeden!

210426CatAss
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Brian Simpson

Unapologetic fan of the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins & Celtics. Lover of powerful, dark beers. Married with NO kids. Ever. Lover of doggos. Not so much cats.

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