Toddlers are awful. They can be damn cute, and fill your life with so much joy. But they’re terrible people. They get mad as hell over the most ridiculous things. Every parent knows this, and has some tales to tell.
So here are mine.
Keep in mind, I have 2 sons. But to make it easier, I’ll refer to them as 1 to make my job easier. It’s all insane things they’ve been mad about, so I see no reason to differentiate between them.
I’m also not ranking them, as I wouldn’t even begin to know how to order these. So this is just a list of 10 crazy things my kids have been upset about, in no particular order.
10. I wouldn’t let him play with his new toy boat in the toilet.
9. He farted and it wasn’t stinky, so he thought something was wrong with his butt.
8. I wouldn’t let him paint the shower with the toilet brush.
7. He burned his hand on the side of the oven, and then got mad that I wouldn’t let him touch it again.
6. He plays hide and seek with me every day when I come home from work, and gets really upset when I find him, which is the god damn object of the game.
5. “I want T Rex to be my friend, but he’s too bite-y.”
4. He cried because he didn’t get to say goodbye to his mom, whom he just said goodbye to literally 5 seconds before he started crying.
3. The pizza I gave him was too melty. Then it was too “pizza-y”.
2. He screamed at me because he wanted a Pop Tart, and then screamed at me for giving him the Pop Tart that he asked for.
1. He screams at me for singing the song “Peaches” from the new Super Mario movie.