Ways to Know You Went Too Hard on St Paddy’s Day

St Paddy’s Day weekend is coming up. Given that it’s one of the biggest drinking holidays of the year, and this is Wisconsin, I imagine quite a few of you may overdo it. If you do, make sure you get a ride home. But that won’t save you from these other possible outcomes.
Here’s 10 ways to know you went too hard for St Paddy’s Day.

10. Your FitBit congratulated you… for completing a marathon between bars.

9. You woke up with a traffic cone, a shamrock necklace, and no idea which one you stole.

8. Your phone has a new contact named “Leprechaun Mike”.

7. You checked your bank account and apparently bought the entire bar a round… three times.

6. You tried to pay for breakfast with beads and a plastic leprechaun hat.

5. Your Uber driver sent you a thank-you card for the emotional journey.

4. There are videos of you passionately explaining Irish history… to a jukebox.

3. You woke up speaking in an Irish accent and nobody has the heart to tell you you’re from Wisconsin.

2. You’re not hungover—you’re green-over.

1. You swear you found the end of the rainbow… but it turned out to be a 24-hour Taco Bell.

Don’t forget to join us for the St Paddy’s Day .01K this Saturday, and celebrate safe!