Sperm races. Tidy fridges. Pooping on the seat on an airplane.

Please be very careful today with the potentially dangerous & disastrous storms heading our way this afternoon & tonight.

In the news this morning, an update on the Wisconsin judge that was arrested on Friday, an update on the storms moving into our area later today, the latest on the vehicle attack in Vancouver over the weekend, and a Wisconsin dentist shot dead over a loud-music dispute.

In sports, the Brewers managed a win yesterday to snap a four-game losing streak, the Bucks lost the game last night against the Pacers and may have lost Damian Lillard for the rest of the playoffs, and a look at the rest of the NBA & NHL scores.

Elsewhere in sports, a recap of yesterday’s NASCAR race at Talladega, Mr. Irrelevant in the NFL draft, the person who pranked Shedeur Sanders during the draft this weekend, and Bill Belichick’s GF shutting down questions during an interview.

We discussed a recent Reddit survey about the dumbest reason someone is famous in the US, and we also looked at a study that determined at what age do all of your unhealthy habits catch up with you?

Plus, a couple of dog stories this morning, including a pooch who could sense that his owner had breast cancer, and wiener dog that’s been living in the wild for a long time has finally been captured & is going back home to her family.

Some tips for saving room in your fridge, what’s on TV, and the world’s first ever “sperm race” happened this weekend.

And in today’s edition of “Bad News with Happy Music”, we had stories about a woodpecker that was doing some serious damage to a bunch of vehicles in Massachusetts, a Southwest Airlines passenger who got naked & took a juicy shit on the seat of the plane, a woman who ended up with a snake in her margarita, and a guy who was hiding weed-filled Easter eggs.

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Brian Simpson

Unapologetic fan of the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins & Celtics. Lover of powerful, dark beers. Married with NO kids. Ever. Lover of doggos. Not so much cats.