THE PRANK	'Guy'Line 1. Ordering all sorts of catalogs for someone that they wouldn't normally order from. 'Guy'Line 2. Nailing someone's tool belt to the floor, or filling their hard-hat with concrete. 'Guy'Line 3. Fill a condom with 5 gallons of water on a greased sheet of cardboard and then slide it gently onto your roommate's bed. 'Guy'Line 4. Taking the little pieces of paper made by a hole punch and putting them in someone's heat vents in their vehicle so it "snows" when they turn their defrost on. 'Guy'Line 5. Rubbing Icy-Hot in your wife's bra so her boobies get all outta whack! 'Guy'Line 6. Throwing fireworks into the bathroom when someone is making potty. 'Guy'Line 7. The Upper-Decker! 'Guy'Line 8. Releasing live animals in a building/house! 'Guy'Line 9. Wrapping everything in someone's office/cubicle with tinfoil or Xmas paper.
'Guy'Line 1. Flowers are great. Especially if you have them delivered to her job. That'll make her co-workers jealous. 'Guy'Line 2. Don't get her a gift card. Unless it's for Victoria's Secret. Then you both win! 'Guy'Line 3. Don't give her a home-made card. That works on your mom when you're a kid, but you've got a job. She expects something from Hallmark. 'Guy'Line 4. Try a "spa" package. $50 or $60 can go a long way towards your woman's happiness. 'Guy'Line 5. Don't buy her any appliances. That is not romantic and won't get you any. 'Guy'Line 6. Try giving her a "No-Kid-Day". Take the rugrats outta the house for the entire day and leave her alone. She can take a bath, read a magazine, make her own lunch, maybe squeeze in a nap! 'Guy'Line 7. Never buy her the heart shaped box of candy. She might pretend to like it, but after a few chocolates, she'll feel fat.	TIPS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS
THE MAN CAVE	'Guy'Line 1. You must have a bar in your man cave. Fully stocked, obviously. 'Guy'Line 2. You must have a kick ass home theater system. (HDTV/Stereo/Projection/Surround Sound) 'Guy'Line 3. You must have something comfortable to sit on, like a couch or recliner. Also, ample seating should be provided for your homeboys. 'Guy'Line 4. You must have a fridge with beer and meat in it. Maybe a frozen pizza, too. And while you're at it, a microwave would be cool, too. 'Guy'Line 5. You must have some bar games. (darts/pool/air hockey/foosball/arcade games/pinball) This depends on the amount of space you have. 'Guy'Line 6. You should decorate with sports memorabilia and hot chicks! 'Guy'Line 7. A bathroom should be a part of your man-cave. Go ahead! Leave the seat up! Or better yet, install a urinal! 'Guy'Line 8. A stripper pole + drunk chicks = lots of fun. I'm just saying!
'Guy'Line 1. NO GIFT BAGS. EVER! Men don't give gift bags. A bottle in a brown paper bag, or a sixer in a plastic bag is okay, but no "holiday" bags. 'Guy'Line 2. Jewelery. It's there for a reason. Cause it works! 'Guy'Line 3. Guys should only buy "manly" items for their guy friends. Stuff like beer, meat, tools, or porn are acceptable. 'Guy'Line 4. If your lady friend says "Don't get me anything...", you MUST get her something. She is completely lying and will be seriously pissed if you show up on Xmas day empty-handed. 'Guy'Line 5. Don't buy lingerie for your woman UNLESS you know her size. Getting something too big will be disastrous. 'Guy'Line 6. Nobody likes those generic "gift boxes" for Xmas. They are lame!	RULES FOR HOLIDAY GIFT-GIVING
THE MAN-DATE	'Guy'Line 1. No sharing a bed. Ever. If you go to a Packer game, you can share a hotel room, but not a bed. 'Guy'Line 2. High-fives and fist bumps are okay, but no hugging or belly bumping. 'Guy'Line 3. Buy every other round. Or, decide beforehand that you'll just buy your own. 'Guy'Line 4. "Hey man...I gotta take a leak. Wanna come with?" That should NEVER, EVER come out of your mouth. EVER. 'Guy'Line 5. If you're going to the movies, you have to have a "buffer" seat in between you and your buddy. And no sharing popcorn or candy or nachos. 'Guy'Line 6. Wearing the same outfit is totally uncool. (unless you work for 95.7 The Rock and HAVE to wear your Rock shirt to a concert. 'Guy'Line 7. If you're going to eat somewhere...make it fast food, a sports bar, or Hooters. Don't be sitting down to eat with your Man-Date!