I grew up in Westby, I couldn't make it as a ski jumper because I like food too much.
One time I went canoeing and got the nickname "The Human Glowstick".
One time I scored 4 touchdowns in 1 game for Polk High..........I think.
Ever see a fat guy do a cartwheel?
I have a bunch of kids, if you see a kid and it isn't yours, it's probably mine.
If you have seen a great movie, chances are I haven't seen it yet.
If I like a sports team, chances are they will never win the big one ever again.
I am kind of a political nut-job, actually I am just a nut-job in general.
I have never walked on the moon.
If we haven't partied together yet, we probably should